It pains me to say it, but marriage needs to be defended . . . against Christians. With a divorce rate slightly higher than the mainstream and some estimates of male unfaithfulness at double their secular counterparts, Christians treat God’s wishes as trivial and defame the name of Christ. Should I be the one to remind every Christian that we are to live our lives as worthy of the Gospel? Does this mean that we should sin all the more that grace might increase? May it never be!
Now let me say a few things about these social surveys that look so bad for Christians. I don’t know how much stock I put in their conclusions. First of all, they don’t usually define a “Christian.” For all I know, they are surveying a bunch of Episcopalians and the data is horribly skewed. Another thing I find disturbing is that I usually see statistics for secular marriages that end in divorce and Christian people who have been divorced. They then compare the two percentages and see that the Christians are higher. But if a Christian couple divorces, then there are two people showing up – double counting! – when added to Christians who were divorced by an unbelieving spouse, then the “Christian rate” edges up a bit. Also, there is a fundamental flaw in the way divorce rates are currently calculated. In 1992, some brainiac at the Census Bureau noticed that there were about 1 million divorces in 1990 and 2 million new marriages. Viola! Half of all new marriages will end in divorce. Poppycock. He failed to take into account the about 52 million existing marriages. The correct divorce rate should be [(Divorce) / (Current + New)]. Unfortunately, people having heard this statistic for 10 years have begun to fulfill what could only be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe I should be blogging about protecting marriage from government, or stupid people, or math.
At any rate, however the numbers are calculated, Christians’ should be much lower. The fact that they are not is damning. What have we done with the grace we’ve been given? Have we been so afraid of not being cool, sophisticated, part of the in-crowd that we have neglected to call sin a sin and work to restore broken marriages? Have we been so self-involved that we have not provided an environment where hope and healing can take place? Have we been so busy with our building projects that we have neglected to build up the body? Sadly, the answer is “Yes.”
Christians need to recover their mandate for pastoral care. Each local church is to be a community of faith that supports one another and looks out for each member of the flock – standing firm in one spirit, with one mind striving side by side for the faith of the gospel, and not frightened in anything by our opponents. An interested people who uphold the standards of the faith community. No one wants to return to a stereotypical gossip-laden busybody congregation, but we should be aware of what is going on in each other’s lives and be willing to step in and help – or correct. We must exhort one another every day, as long as it is called “today,” that none of us many be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. We, as Christians, have a responsibility to one another in Christ. The current ambiguity in the average Christian’s understanding of individuality, sexuality, and marriage testifies mightily to our failure.
This is one reason why I am becoming a pastor. I don’t want to take my responsibility lightly. The people need a place they can go to be accepted and meet Christ. Truth must be proclaimed. One of my buddies tells me that I am idealistic and in store for a rude awakening. No, I say. I have seen the problems in the church. I have witnessed the depravity of man. I will take the first step. If none go with me, I still will follow the one path of my risen Savior. I will trust him. I will do as he directs. I will preach as he has spoken. I will stand for Scripture. I will stand for Christ. I will stand for the gospel. I will stand for what is right. And this week – I take a stand for marriage.