Well, some more people decided to legalize gay marriage and redefine a fundamental understanding of reality today. The tide seems inevitable. The new understanding of a “definition” is taking root. A “definition” is whatever we can manage to say it is and is constrained only by the whim of the moment. For some reason however, the institutional entitlements that go with the word being defined remain unchanged. No matter, though I’ve tried to fight it, this new understanding of reality will actually personally benefit me.
You see, even though I appear in form as a 30-something middle class suburban white male I am really a 27 year old black man. I have always known that I was really black inside, but I was scared to come out of the closet. Growing up with all those other white kids around – talking about white things – even participating in some white rituals like listening to rock & roll music while standing around a parked car – I never felt comfortable. I knew I was different.
In school I would look at the black kids with their shaved heads and thought they looked so cool. My own white person hair disgusted me. Oh, how I longed to have close cropped hair with a little design in the back. How I wanted to laugh outrageously and move my body with ecstatic passion and have people think I was cool. My spirit was lifted every time I would pass a soul brother in the halls, but the other white kids were harsh and judgmental and I was scared to share my real feelings.
One semester, an older black student took an interest in me. He sheltered me from the abusive words of others and helped me feel acceptance from a more enlightened community. He helped me realize my appreciation of big bootys, low-hung jeans, and dialogical music. He freed me to be who I was born to become. Yet, even knowing I was really black, I still felt the pressure from society to hide what I really was and act white. I still have never told my parents.
But as the winds of society’s whim are changing I now feel liberated to accept who I truly am. I am a young black man. No one can tell me otherwise. Bigots can step off!
I’m Black! It's a Fact! Get Used to It!
I plan to petition the National Negro College Fund for a scholarship. Not a special scholarship, just one like any other black student may apply for. There may still be some prejudicial attitudes at the NNCF who do not want to award a scholarship to a black man with white skin and European hair, but they are obsessive traditionalists who are stuck in the past. The Constitution gives me the right not to be discriminated against on the basis of skin color. I may have to go into another state where I am not a resident for legal action, but I’ll be able to find me one of these gay progressive types who supports my right not to be denied basic human rights. They’ll rule in my favor and I will find it much easier to pursue my right to a tuition-free education.
I know that some people would doubt my intentions here. You are over-reacting and not paying attention to basic biology. God made me to be black. Why would I choose to become part of a segment of society that is so often oppressed and discriminated against? This is who I am – a young black man.
Power to My People.
Do you mean, United Negro College Fund?
Posted by: Jake at March 3, 2004 11:52 PMI am certainly refering to the UNCF, but didn't really want the traffic related serches would send my way. Though on second thought, that traffic might be a good idea. Maybe I'll change it later...
Posted by: Blandus at March 4, 2004 05:59 AMhehe--nice :)
Posted by: David Talcott at March 4, 2004 11:18 AMSigh. I know you're just trying to be humorous, but there are so many holes here I can't help shooting at some of them. Be grateful I'm feeling charitable and not emailing a link to this to Sam. 1- Definitions are always in flux. That's why Merriam-Webster keeps putting out new dictionaries. Societies change and adapt and change definitions. To choose three relevant examples- a: Marriage was re-defined to include only one man and one woman in most Western cultures, as opposed to previous practices of polygamy in Judaism and many other ancient cultures. When the West colonized the rest of the world, they re-defined marriage for those cultures by fiat, eliminating polygamy from most of the rest of the world as well, as well as suttee in India. b: Faggot used to be simply a bundle of wood. Eventually, probably in the English Prep Schools, it came to be a slur used for homosexuals, and has recently become a universal signal that anyone using it is to be excluded from polite society. c: Negro was originally a neutral scientific counterpart to Caucasian and Asiatic, and was used during the Civil Rights Movement in the USA as the preferred nomenclature for blacks, who were trying to move towards a color-less society and avoid the use of the term black. With the failure of the Civil Rights Movement to provide speedy access to the middle class, the gradual association of Negro with the slur, nigger, and the rise of Black Power through Malcolm X, the Black Panthers, and others, Negro (as well as Colored Person) fell out of social favor and has, except in the case of institutions like the UNCF and NAACP, become viewed as a condescending term.
To sum up- definitions change all the time. It's what societies do. When one person (Blandus the YBM) attempts to change a definition by himself, he either becomes the vanguard of a social movement that produces that change, or he exposes himself as a white conservative really stretching to try and make a point.
Oh, yeah, 2- this post is offensive. Be grateful all your readers are white, and that I've been around conservatives so long I don't have the energy to get angry about this kind of stuff anymore.
Posted by: Shade at March 6, 2004 12:14 PMShade (who has re-invented himself as of late)-
Thanks for the comments. HOW DARE YOU claim that this post is offensive. You are always welcome to comment at this site, but you need to keep your self-righteous hate-speech to yourself. How dare you deny my life-experiences and my right to interpret them! You are a condescending liberal know-all who can't see far enough past his own prejudices to understand another point of view. You and your lock-step cronies always want to define the world as who-is-right and who-is-wrong and can’t allow for another perspective that doesn’t fit into your narrow-minded categories. Time for you and your kind to enter the 21st century.
Posted by: Blandus at March 6, 2004 03:58 PMSemper uber sub uber.
Posted by: Jake at March 7, 2004 12:56 AMSigh. Thanks for the happy birthday wishes, by the way, Blandus.
Posted by: Shade at March 8, 2004 10:26 PMYou should really see a doctor, Shade. You seem to be sighing a lot lately.
;)
I think I'm allergic to something. It only happens in certain places. :)
Posted by: Shade at March 9, 2004 10:37 AMBlandus, just because u felt this way growing up and still do does not make you a black man, it just makes you a white man who has interests in a certain type of music and way of life.
If a black man likes to listen to rock n roll music and play golf does that make him a white man? ofcourse not.
Colour means nothing, in a society where blacks, whites, asians etc all live side by side ofcourse we are going to share parts of our culture and become one.
You have to accept the fact that you are white, this doesnt mean you have to change the way you feel about music or lifestyle at all. it just means realising that your origins are caucasian not african!
Your post is offensive because it suggests that the race of a person is related to their values, attitudes and interests.
YOU ARE A PRODUCT OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT
Matt - My point exactly.
Posted by: Blandus at May 14, 2004 01:14 PMblandus i think you and i have shared the same feeling most of our lives when it comes to this subject, all i was tryin to say is that we musnt confuse ourselves with skin colour or origin, we can be whoever we want to be regardless.
Posted by: Matt at May 17, 2004 01:41 PM