Blandus Rex

Lesbian Fear

The following is a quote from a lesbian I know. Out of respect for her, I am not providing a link to the source. She is a private person. We'll call her Susan.

Before now, I have associated physical closeness with fear. I am profoundly afraid of the male body. I fear men's larger size and greater strength. I fear the sexualization of roughness. I fear having no choice about opening the sensitive parts of myself, no equality in giving and receiving. The act of sex with a man as a woman seems brutally invasive, the allowing of a larger, stronger, more dominant partner to satisfy himself by plunging into one's already smaller and more sensitive body. I've never been able to separate it fully from rape in my mind. I've never recovered from seeing a penis as a weapon, unpredictable and injurious, however unfair the perception may be as associated with individuals I've otherwise cared for deeply. This lies at the heart of how I've been so asexual, so reserved. This fear.

Susan later goes on to record that she is instead looking to women to fill her emotional and sexual needs.

This quote should remind us (and I am using the opportunity to remind my critics) that Christianity teaches that we are all vulnerable and hurting individuals without Christ. To read words like this of a wounded soul opening up and letting us view the deep anguish of her heart should trouble us and move us to compassion. Yes, we must work against the systemic legitimization of sinful behavior. But, quotes like this should give feet to the notion of "hate the sin, but love the sinner."

This quote also gives anacdotal evidence to something I have claimed here before. Homosexual activity is psychologically hurting behavior. Susan has had a long time fear of men - their size and physical strength. This fear interferes with her ability to function normally with a man in the accepted social and biological ways. There appears to be some fear of normal sexual activity - it is brutal, like rape. She, in fact, identifies the penis as a weapon. Using some models, we might say, with compassion, that Susan may have difficulties with Trust, Autonomy, Identity, and Intimacy issues. We identify these difficulties as problems in other areas of life, but seem to take them as normal with regards to homosexuality. It is Unchristian and Unloving to ignore the psychologically damaging aspects of homosexual behavior and leave beloved souls to a lifetime of emotional pain.

Christians should stand up and call homosexuality a sin. This is attested to in Scripture and is beyond dispute. But if that is all we do, then we have only preached half the gospel (and so really, not preached at all). Jesus Christ offers hope and healing to those who are scared and hurting. Much more than simply "curing Susan's homosexuality," Jesus Christ can heal the deepest and darkest wounds of a frightened young woman and enable her to be all that the Lord designed and destined her to be. To the extent that Christians do not complete the call, we have ourselves sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.

Be a source of light and hope to those in dark and troubled times.

Posted by Blandus at March 16, 2004 01:37 PM